when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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