used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
