you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
