So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drunk is not a location!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
