girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
