I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
