Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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