just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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