Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
