At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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