if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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