You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
