no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
