Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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