I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
