Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
