Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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