please come you make the beer taste better
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
