I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
