it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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