I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
