I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm passing your future prison.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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