At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
