I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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