Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
