her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
