I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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