we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
