he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
