margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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