I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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