I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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