Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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