I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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