I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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