SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
