Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Im part way to drunk.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize