So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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