I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
