Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
