ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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