he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have aggressive nipples.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
