"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
