Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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