i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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