I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
