Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
