"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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