new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
