Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize