She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
