That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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