Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
