yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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