Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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