Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
