Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
