do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
