but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
