He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize