if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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