i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
