where does the pee come out of this thing
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
