guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
