My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
