is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
