Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
